post-traumaic syndrome, we all suffer of it (excluding Anna maybe, and even here I'm not sure).
it is time to forget and move on as brain-shrinks say (at least in books and films they always do so).
you owe nothing to them and you owe nothing to that boy you were then either. you are not anything like a "complete new person" now but you have nothing to do with that boy too. it is like coming home from a war: you can't get away from it but you can't live with it as well. the trick is to find some ballance. onr day i just looked around and said to myself: "hey! look around! the war is over and you just never had time to notice it - you were busy fighting!"
the problem is, till you are still there you're still trying to find your place there and explain it all to yourself - torturing yourself in an empty room in the middle of nowhere. i tried to cope with Ilya forever; sometimes we even got "friendly". and the very day i so the war was over he just disappeared, walked away from my life, painlessly and (i think) forever - i got free from him at last, when i was 35 or something. till that day i was that girl he did things to, and it was me, not him, who didn't let the girl go, made her to return there again and again.
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Date: 2006-03-06 03:03 pm (UTC)it is time to forget and move on as brain-shrinks say (at least in books and films they always do so).
you owe nothing to them and you owe nothing to that boy you were then either. you are not anything like a "complete new person" now but you have nothing to do with that boy too. it is like coming home from a war: you can't get away from it but you can't live with it as well. the trick is to find some ballance. onr day i just looked around and said to myself: "hey! look around! the war is over and you just never had time to notice it - you were busy fighting!"
the problem is, till you are still there you're still trying to find your place there and explain it all to yourself - torturing yourself in an empty room in the middle of nowhere. i tried to cope with Ilya forever; sometimes we even got "friendly". and the very day i so the war was over he just disappeared, walked away from my life, painlessly and (i think) forever - i got free from him at last, when i was 35 or something. till that day i was that girl he did things to, and it was me, not him, who didn't let the girl go, made her to return there again and again.