as far, the way i treat my memories proved to be rather efficient - as far. but i don't know, maybe you're right, maybe i should try to let it go as much as i can. although, it seems that wether i let it go or not doesn't depend on my will, and that forgetting how i felt then leaves me with less means to reevaluate it. i guess i know what you mean - there is bad stuff in life, and you can't make it good. but i'm not worrying about the bad stuff in life so much, i'm worrying about that part of it that i let slip into myself. and i do believe - sometimes i do - that i can dissolve it by some sort of reevaluation or analysis, and that if i forget it, let it completely slip into subconscious, i'll lose all control over it. now, at least, i see at clearly marked as 'bad stuff'. i don't know, i might be deluded in all these ideas, i'm rather neutral as to how correct they are. but it's my private mine field, i have no way to be certain about anything. so there