i want to add, you are still trying to judge yourself. is there any sense in trying to judge a boy who got into that hell at the age of 7? i broke a couple of lives and successfully finished destroying my own when i finally understand that i was trying to live (or justify or condemn - there is not much difference or even border) the life of a person who wasn't me by any approach. when i looked at myself with open eyes for the first time i knew i was torturing and killing a young woman i turned into by then almost the very same way they had been torturing and killing the girl i was 20+ years ago! and i knew quite well it was time to stop.
the war is over, maybe even the good guys lost in some methaphysical sense of the word, but the war is over and it is time to go home. and you have a home - a life of your own, you are sane and your life has nothing to do with them anymore. not that little for one who returned from a war.
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Date: 2006-03-06 04:48 pm (UTC)i want to add, you are still trying to judge yourself. is there any sense in trying to judge a boy who got into that hell at the age of 7? i broke a couple of lives and successfully finished destroying my own when i finally understand that i was trying to live (or justify or condemn - there is not much difference or even border) the life of a person who wasn't me by any approach. when i looked at myself with open eyes for the first time i knew i was torturing and killing a young woman i turned into by then almost the very same way they had been torturing and killing the girl i was 20+ years ago! and i knew quite well it was time to stop.
the war is over, maybe even the good guys lost in some methaphysical sense of the word, but the war is over and it is time to go home. and you have a home - a life of your own, you are sane and your life has nothing to do with them anymore. not that little for one who returned from a war.